Sunday, 30 October 2016

Top 30 Horror Video Games Numbers 15 to 1

On the 13th of June I turned 30, I’m not dealing with this so instead I decided to both ignore and celebrate me lasting so long by writing a whole bunch of top 30 countdown lists.

No fucking about, straight into part 2 before All Hallow's Eve gets here and I'm still writing the intro paragraph. 

Saturday, 29 October 2016

Top 30 Horror Video Games Numbers 30 to 16


On the 13th of June I turned 30, I’m not dealing with this so instead I decided to both ignore and celebrate me lasting so long by writing a whole bunch of top 30 countdown lists.


It’s Halloween weekend!
I’d decided to skip Halloween Countdown this year because 1) I’d’ve missed the start of it while away and 2) I’d then want to do the posts that’ve become the Letters from America, it was the right thing to do, a three week cold at the same time as a major family bereavement put me out of action for most of October (you just haven’t noticed because I wrote all the Letters from America within 48 hours of getting home, I was excited alright?). But I still wanted to do something special for one of my favourite times of year, so we’re having a special spooky Thirtieth Birthday Top 30 (remember I was doing those? No of course not because you’re not real), in fact it’s the first of two you’ll be getting in short succession. Thus welcome to AFB’s Top 30 Horror Video Games.
So what are we calling a ‘Horror Video Game’? Yeah this was one of those things that seemed easy until you think about it, I eventually came up with the following: a game that is intended to scare or is overtly horror themed throughout, not just having a horror themed level (like Mario’s Boo Houses or Thief 3’s brilliant The Shadlebridge Cradle which fyi is my choice for scariest level in a video game ever) or horror-themed characters knocking around (like Killer Instinct or Pok√©mon). There were a few that danced on the line for me – like American McGee’s Alice, Doom or Mortal Kombat and for those I just sort of decided on a case by case basis. Now this isn’t what’s objectively the best, this is what I think is the best, of course objectively my opinion is better than everyone else’s but I don’t like to say that because people think I’m big headed or some shit, weirdos. So are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Letter From America Quick Crappy Review: Disney Attractionistas Briar & Holly

Hey, welcome back to the Quick Crappy Reviews of Disney’s Attractionistas line, a series of Monster High inspired dolls sold only in Disney theme parks around the world and all based on an attraction at said parks, today’s stream of bullshit will actually be a quick crappy review, rather than just a crappy one, as this time we only have two girls to mumble about, both from the second wave of dolls that’ve been released.  


Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Pop Culture League: Here Comes Halloween


So I skipped last week’s Pop Culture League because I’d already written a fears-based post for the mannequin-based post, and we’d just had a family bereavement and I was too depressed to get out of bed long enough to write 500 words about my pant-shitting fear of frogs and toads (but not Kermit, Kermit’s cool). But things are more in my favour this week, so what’s the topic: Here comes Halloween! It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Here comes Halloween, here comes Halloween, right down Halloween Lane. Because the topic title has put this ditty in my head I’m gonna use this post to talk about Halloween music. So are you sitting comfortably? Then I’m so sorry.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Letter From America Quick Crappy Review: Disney Attractionistas Gracey, Pearl & Maddie!*


Disney have decided to rip off Monster High, I didn’t know this until I got to Disney’s Hollywood Studios and found Holly in the Tower of Terror’s gift shop. I was excited, I ended up buying five altogether and that was five of the six I ran into (I didn’t really want Carrie), so except for Carrie if I saw one, I bought it.  Now I’ve returned to civilisation I’ve found out that originally there was six dolls released – one each for Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, Space Mountain, The Jungle Cruise, The Mad Tea Party and the various Fantasyland carrousels and since then have released at least two more for Splash Mountain and Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and I have subsequently eBay’d the two I didn’t buy at the Disney Parks. With me so far? Good because I’m going to quickly, crappily review all 7 of these dolls because why the fuck wouldn’t I?


Sunday, 16 October 2016

Letter From America: Nummy Treats Continues!*


I returned to Orlando, Florida and its theme parks and attractions after 20 years for a holiday. Going to Florida on holiday is a big thing for Britons and requires much saving and lots of effort (and lots of sitting watching whatever Virgin Atlantic put on their little screens). Letter From America is the blog-based fallout from this, we left the day before Hurricane Matthew hit and these posts are not meant in any way as a middle finger to those were killed, injured or even inconvenienced by the hurricane, we at AFB send our deepest sympathies to you all.

< Part 1
Welcome back True Believers, oh what's that? a lawsuit from Stan Lee, well the man did trademark 'excelsior' so I'm not surprised, I'll just file that in the 'ignore' pile. Anyway my Nummy Treats based Letter from America turned out to be very long, so here's another eight examples of the noteworthy crap I shovelled into my body for two weeks so I could bore fictional American readers an Englishman’s view of stuff you see every day and do not think is noteworthy or blogworthy in any way, shape or form. So are you sitting comfortably? Then I won't do another Kool Aid reference because I realised after I made it that there is no Kool Aid in either post, so instead, I'll being:

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Letter From America: Nummy Treats*


I returned to Orlando, Florida and its theme parks and attractions after 20 years for a holiday. Going to Florida on holiday is a big thing for Britons and requires much saving and lots of effort (and lots of sitting watching whatever Virgin Atlantic put on their little screens). Letter From America is the blog-based fallout from this, we left the day before Hurricane Matthew hit and these posts are not meant in any way as a middle finger to those were killed, injured or even inconvenienced by the hurricane, we at AFB send our deepest sympathies to you all.

One of the things I was determined to do while in America is eat as many America-only snacks as I could. I have a long running affection for British snack food that should show itself on this blog from time to time, it’s kind of a mix of a hobby, an interest and a point of pride so I’m always keen to eat other country’s snack food and see what they have to be proud of. I’m rarely disappointed, even though I firmly believe that Cadbury’s is the best chocolate in the world most local snacks are tasty as fuck and this definitely goes for America. this isn’t the first time I’v ebeen to the USA and eaten all of the snacks but this is the first time I’ve had a blog to tell you about me eating all the snacks so I made sure to take a picture of all the noteworthy crap I shovelled into my body for two weeks so I could bore fictional American readers an Englishman’s view of stuff you see every day and do not think is noteworthy or blogworthy in any way, shape or form. So are you sitting comfortably? Then OOOH YEAH! *smashes through wall*

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Pop Culture League Voltron Mega Post: Top 10 Monster High Ghouls featuring an Alien and a Zombie!*

So even though I was only on holiday for a total of 15 days, these 15 days were spread over three weeks meaning I’ve missed three Pop Culture League challenges, here are the three I missed:

Aliens Among Us: “If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans.” –Stephen Hawking

Listicular Fortitude: Top Ten…

Here there be Monsters: ‘Tis the Halloween season!

And of course we have this week’s League challenge:

Zombies: The dead have arisen!

I was going to write one long post that had a section for each, but I am fucking sick of zombies and Aliens Among Us would just be me working through another of my childhood traumas, this time about how much the Mars Attacks theatrical film scared the living shit out of me, then I realised that I could – much like Voltron – combine all four topics into one Top 10 list. It’s perfect, I do less work, get to talk about something I like rather than bloody zombies and I do less work. So I present to you my Four Week Pop Culture League Voltron Post:
I’m a genius. 

Monday, 10 October 2016

Letter From America; 10 Examples of Crap I Waste My Money On!*

I returned to Orlando, Florida and its theme parks and attractions after 20 years for a holiday. Going to Florida on holiday is a big thing for Britons and requires much saving and lots of effort (and lots of sitting watching whatever Virgin Atlantic put on their little screens). Letter From America is the blog-based fallout from this, we left the day before Hurricane Matthew hit and these posts are not meant in any way as a middle finger to those were killed, injured or even inconvenienced by the hurricane, we at AFB send our deepest sympathies to you all.

I’m back from America and of course I bought a ton of crap, in fact I bought so much crap I had to buy another suitcase to accommodate it all! Sure it wasn’t a huge suitcase (and will be today’s backdrop) but I’ve never had to purchase a new piece of luggage just to accommodate all the merchandise I’d bought before so for that reason alone I ned to write a bumper edition of Examples of Crap I Waste My Money On.
I saved a lot of money up for this trip and fully intended to blow a good portion of it on merch, so in order to force myself to have a least a modicum of control I decided to only by park exclusive merchandise (when at parks), it didn’t always work because I don’t know every item the Disney Store stocks and Pigmy Puffs are so damn cute but even with that, well, even with that I had to buy another suitcase:


I don’t think I’ve taken a haul photo that was this big before, feel free to play Spot the Grinch, even I couldn’t find him at first. I’m not going to put the prices I paid for the items in this post because a) I’ve forgotten a lot of that information and b) you’d be ashamed of me. So without further ado, are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin: